FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE . . . Contact: Gail Kearns @ To Press and Beyond --805-898-2263 “HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB,” says Willa A. Young, marriage and family counselor We can all use a healthy dose of happiness at times in our lives. Willa Young has done extensive studies on what makes us – and keeps us -- really happy. Here, she shares six of her Happiness Prescriptions so you can experience more joy in life. TREAT YOURSELF GENTLY WHEN LIFE THROWS YOU A CURVE – Sometimes life has a way of taking a good feeling and turning it upside down. Like when someone you’re close to is in a bad mood and it affects you. Rejection and taking things too personally can be other U-turns. Try to keep things in perspective and don’t get blindsided by circumstances such as these. ACCEPT YOURSELF AS THE WONDERFUL PERSON YOU ARE – No one is perfect. Stop judging yourself so harshly. If you must be a critic, give yourself rave reviews! GET YOUR PAST OUT OF YOUR PRESENT – Be conscious of your thought processes and beliefs about yourself. Are you hanging on to old beliefs or what others perceived you to be at an earlier point in your life? If so, it’s time to shed yourself of these viewpoints and establish new ways of thinking about yourself. REMAIN POSITIVE – Avoid the negativity booby trap. Be an optimist and view life as an adventure. Stay away from people who complain for more than one minute at a time. LEND A HELPING HAND TO OTHERS – The “art of giving” rewards you with positive feelings about yourself. Give compliments, appreciation, encouragement and smiles to those you meet. When you bring light into someone else’s life, you illuminate your own. DON’T TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY – Lighten up! Use humor. Learn to laugh at yourself. When facing a dilemma, ask yourself, “Will this matter ten years from now, five years or even next year? From this, you’ll gain perspective and often find unexpected solutions. Willa A. Young is the author of Happiness Instruction Kit: No Assembly Required. She is president of the Santa Barbara Council for Self-Esteem and has published numerous articles on self-esteem and happiness. Willa’s guidance for personal change is one of compassion and caring coupled with a great sense of humor. Title: Happiness Instruction Kit: No Assembly Required Articles WHAT NO ONE EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT HOW TO GET HAPPY - by Willa Young If you ask people what they want most out of life, the universal answer usually is, “I just want to be happy.” There is not much discussion about how to achieve happiness. Experts tell us to smile, to keep a positive attitude and get daily exercise. These are good suggestions, however, let me offer you some more tips on what no one ever told you about how to get happy. They are easy to remember. Just think of a pea pod. You have three P’s in a pod.These P’s are yours to use at all times.You can incorporate them into your daily life to increase your level of happiness. They are: passion, people, participation. Passion. There ought to be something in life you are passionate about---something you love to do that holds your interest. Perhaps you are an avid reader or you can’t go a day without watering your garden. Many people feel passionate about their volunteer work. It does not matter what you do, it only matters that you have an intense interest and like what you do. If you lack a passionate interest in your life, and want to develop one, think about your most enjoyable moments. What made them enjoyable? Let your imagination run wild. Children have vivid imaginations. They can play with an imaginary friend or skip rope with other children for hours. Children can be totally absorbed with nature; a leaf or a bug will hold a child’s interest for a long time. When you listen to a child tell you about what she is interested in, you can see the enthusiasm, eagerness and excitement light up her face. It can be contagious. It has been known to make an adult go out and buy a kite or a butterfly net. Some adults, on the other hand, think they have no time for imaginative play or thinking. They are too busy working, taking meetings, going to the market, car pooling, etc. The list goes on and on. If you’re not clear about what your passions are, think about what your hobbies are, what you love to do. In doing what you love to do, you develop passions. To assist you in uncovering your passion think of the things you liked to do as a child. What did you do that made you smile the most? Can you think of a time when you were involved with something and you did not want to stop, even when you were called for dinner? Many people in varied businesses say they always dreamed of being in the field they are in. “I always dreamed of being an actor.” I always dreamed of having my own company.” “I always dreamed I’d be a pilot one day.” Dreams are where it all begins. Working your way toward your dream is as important as obtaining it. Remember, happiness is a journey not a destination. It takes having passion for your particular interests in order to experience ongoing joy in your pursuits. Some years ago, I had a client who was quite distressed because the only thing her daughter seemed to enjoy was watching television. My client wanted “more” for her daughter. I met the daughter and did not make the observation that she was depressed or socially dysfunctional. On the contrary, she seemed well adjusted and happy. Years later I learned that she had gone on to a successful career as a newscaster for television. The point is, even if you only enjoy watching flowers and shrubs grow, there is the possibility of your becoming a great horticulturist. People. Happy people report that they have supportive friends and family in good times and in bad times. You cannot have too many people in your life who are supportive. As the song goes, “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.” It’s when you feel isolated from others and withdraw into yourself for long periods of time that you become depressed and can easily think that no one cares about you. It’s not healthy to keep yourself in solitary confinement. Look carefully at the people in your life. What kind of people do you choose to surround yourself with? Do you take in all the strays who have problems you are always trying to fix? Do you find that these friends constantly drain the life out of you? People who have ongoing crises in their lives are usually negative people. They do not have a positive outlook on life. They also feel they are powerless to change. Negative people are easy to spot if you listen to what they say. Choose people in your life to associate who are optimistic rather than pessimistic. Don’t be afraid to develop close relationships. Sharing your thoughts with others on a daily basis promotes better health and happiness. As David Myers writes in his book, The Pursuit of Happiness, “Being attached to friends with whom we can share intimate thoughts has two effects.” He points out the quote by the seventeenth century philosopher Francis Bacon, “It redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.” Friends and family come in all shapes and sizes. They can add dimension to your life as well as joy, laughter and shared tears. If your friends and family do not supply you with the nourishment you need to grow and feel confident, then maybe it’s time to find some new friends. There is no shortage of good, positive people in the world. Participation. I have an aunt Ruth who is 85 years old. She is young at heart, inspirational and has an unparalleled zest for life. She has had her share of health troubles and suffered losses in her life, yet she is the most engaging person to be with. I know of several reasons for her “success.” She has many interests. She owns her own business which she actively participates in every day. She has a large circle of friends who she interacts with and with whom she participates in various social activities. She has the best sense of humor of anyone I know. When she tells a story, which is usually very funny, she is so engaging that you participate in the humor along with her. One of the most common traits of happy people is that they are outgoing. They participate in life. They do not merely stand around observing other people. They offer their talents and services to others, which makes them feel alive and fills them with energy. Participate, be involved with others,you will be happier. When you bring some light into someone else’s life, you illuminate your own life. Keep your P’s in your pod. Develop your Passion and Participate with People. |
